verb (used with object)
- to obstruct a person or thing by acting like a self obsessed fartknockle to place obstacles in the way of a greater political benefit; may include handing a win to your adversaries (see Ed Miliband).
It transpires that amidst all the turmoil in British politics, with people falling on swords all over the shop, Tory civil war over Europe, Brexit-Is-Brexit; the people have (subject to a quick shoofty with her Maj) a new leader. Theresa Mary May.
It’s at this point someone needs to grab a quill, take notes and send Angela Eagle a memo. Stop with the stupidity. Stop. We’ve strayed into telegram mode here. We know all the democracy flim-flam, right? Jeremy Corbyn has a huge democratic mandate. The Labour NEC will not allow a sitting leader to be stricken from the ballot. Anyone up against Jeremy Corbyn will lose in a vote going out to hundreds of thousands of members. Democracy’s a bitch. So, moving on…
The Tories have presided over the annihilation of British welfare, benefits, steel, NHS, free university education, fairness and equality; they’ve been complicit if not entirely responsible for the rise of far right hate, prejudice and intolerance. It’s been a God awful time of late. The poor and disenfranchised are really feeling it. Then EU ref and the bloody Brexiteers. The point is, it’s a mile wide open goal. Unmissable you would think. You would think.
The goodwill and esprit de corps won’t last forever for Mrs May but in the meanwhile Grayling is no fool. He has done a magisterial job steering the May ship through the tumult and an early general election will be called. They won’t squander it. So, Angela. Get out of the way.
The internal bumbling over the attempted regicide in Labour (nb. next time you’re going to do something like that in public, do it properly. No one else fuffs a hit on Tony Soprano and gets away with it. Lights out. Like the finale.) means that whatever happens at the general election, Labour cannot get an outright victory. Credibility aside, the numbers won’t allow it. Constituency redraws. Scotland. You’re better off trying to find a pint of pale ale from an ISIS brewery. The only option for any semblance of authority is a coalition of the progressive Left. And that’s assuming there isn’t a Brexit-UKIP team ticket. Or some Lab-Con defection party. Really, anything could happen right now.
For Labour to have a chance, someone needs to tell Angela that the Napoleonesque faux-outrage isn’t working. Back your leader. Be loyal. Labour will need to summon it’s entire strength to focus on the election. Omnishambles needs to end. Jeremy is popular with the general public. He just needs to be allowed to lead.
All the whilst, the shadow of one political figure looms large on the horizon.
Yes, sure. There are plenty on all sides, especially Labour, who would rather see Prime Minister May rather than Prime Minister Sturgeon leading a coalition this summer. That would be some kind of national security threat (probably) despite her being the most highly rated UK politician. (INCIDENTALLY, LOVE YOUR WORK, NICOLA. X)
The Left has been in disarray this summer of malcontent. But those things do and must come to an end. The ball is on the one yard line. Tap it in.
First published 11 July 2016: Medium